“Flexing Into a Variable Rate: How My Gym Buddy Almost Ruined My Mortgage”
Not everyone can give “good” advice!
There I was, minding my business on the rowing machine, when Chad—let’s call him Chad because of course his name is Chad—leans over between sets and drops the kind of unsolicited financial advice usually reserved for Reddit threads and that one uncle at family dinners.
“Bro, don’t even look at fixed rates. Variable is the move. It’s what all the smart investors are doing. Trust me.”
Ah yes, trust me—the two least comforting words in the world of mortgage financing.
The Seduction of the Variable Rate
At first glance, variable rates are tempting. They’re like that gym membership you sign up for in January—lower monthly costs at the start, promises of flexibility, and a vague sense of superiority over your friends locked into fixed terms.
“Why pay more?” Chad asked while curling his body weight and ego simultaneously. “Ride the wave, bro. Rates always drop.”
Spoiler: they don’t and they didn’t.
Fast-Forward: The Bank of Canada Has Entered the Chat
Turns out, the only thing variable about my new mortgage was how much anxiety it gave me.
The Bank of Canada began hiking rates faster than Chad can shotgun a protein shake. What started as a “smart move” quickly turned into me calculating my payment increases with the same dread most people reserve for root canals and tax season.
Each rate hike felt like leg day—painful, recurring, and impossible to skip.
Here’s the Thing: Mortgages Aren’t One-Size-Fits-All
Variable rates can absolutely make sense—for some borrowers. But the right choice depends on:
✔️ Your income stability
✔️ Your risk tolerance
✔️ How long you plan to stay in the home
✔️ Whether you’ve budgeted for potential rate increases
✔️ If you like your heart rate spiking for reasons other than cardio
Just because someone made money on a variable rate five years ago doesn’t mean it’s the right fit for you now—especially in today’s economic climate where the only thing predictable is unpredictability.
Real Advice Needs More Than Gym Talk
A mortgage is probably the biggest financial commitment of your life. Maybe don’t base it on locker room banter.
Talk to a licensed mortgage professional—someone who actually knows how to spell “amortization,” understands how the prime rate works, and isn’t judging your deadlift form.
The Happy Ending (with a few stress sweats)
Eventually, I refinanced. I got the right product for me this time. One that aligned with my actual financial goals—not Chad’s dream of becoming the next big real estate mogul-slash-podcast host.
I still see Chad at the gym. He’s doing well.
Last I heard, he’s giving advice on crypto & options!
Variable rates aren’t bad—blindly taking them is.
If you’re going to gamble, at least know the odds. And maybe get your mortgage advice from someone who wears a suit (or pants at least) and understands the bond market, not just someone who owns a shaker bottle collection.

